Stacey

“I sustain myself with the love of family.”
?Maya Angelou

Last night, an old friend from high school – a hometown success story and entrepreneur who owns and operates a large publicly traded company – a man whom I have a great deal of respect for – came over to our home for dinner.  After a delicious meal, he and I chatted for a couple hours in the family room and caught up on old times.  And as we wrapped things up, he said, “I admire you.  I admire the love in this home – the obvious love between you and Angel.  I admire the close relationships you’ve built and nurtured.  When I’m here it feels like I’m part of the family.  Nurturing a happy family is one of the things I never got around to.  So it was great to see it, feel it, and be a part of it tonight.  Thank you.”

When I sat down to write this morning, my friend’s remarks immediately came to mind.  Which got me thinking…  What does nurturing a happy family really mean?  What are some things happy families do differently?

Here are some thoughts to consider:

1.  Every day, every member chooses to be part of the family.

First and foremost, family isn’t always blood.  They’re the people in your life who appreciate having you in theirs – the ones who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways, and who not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be.  Family members can be your best friends.  And best friends, whether or not they’re related to you by blood, can be your family.

Family is built with love; it’s not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and formal adoption documents.  Families grow from the heart, through mutual love and respect.  The only time family becomes nullified is when the ties in the heart are cut.  If you cut the ties, these people are not your family.  If you build the ties, these people are your family.  So build and maintain ties with the right people and nurture them with love every day.

2.  Family members go out of their way for each other.

Family bonds are tied with true love, and true love involves attention, awareness, discipline, effort, and being able to care about someone and sacrifice for them, continuously, in countless petty little unsexy ways, every day.  You put your arms around them and love them regardless, even when they’re not very lovable.  And of course they do the same for you.

If you want to know what a healthy family is, it’s one where each family member wakes up every morning and says, “This is worth it.  You all are worth it.  I am happy you are in my life.”  It’s about sacrifice.  It’s about knowing that some days you will have to do things you dislike to make the people you love smile, and feeling perfectly delighted to do so.  That’s what it means to “be family.”  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Relationships” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

3.  Family sticks together through thick and thin.

“Being family” is also about supporting each other through life’s inevitable changes.  It’s knowing that your family will be there watching out for you through thick and thin.  Nothing and no one else will give you that.  Not your career.  Not your boss.  Not your clients.  Not money.  Not fame.

You can’t promise to be there for someone for the rest of their life, but you can sincerely be there for them for the rest of yours.  Stand by those you care about in their darkest moments, not because you want to stand in the dark, but because you don’t want them to either.  Brave the shadows alongside them until they’re able to find the light.  On the flip-side, stand by these same people on their sunniest days, not because you want to scorch your skin, but because you’re not afraid to let them shine bright.

And remember, timing is everything.  There is a time for silence, a time to let go and allow your loved ones to launch themselves into their own destiny, and a time to cheer for their victories, or help them pick up the pieces, when it’s all over.

4.  Everyone is permitted to be true to themselves.

The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated as is.  Sometimes we try to be sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image of what we want them to be – what we think we need, love, or desire.  But these actions and perceptions are against reality, against their benefit and ours, and always end in disappointment – because it does not fit them.

Remember, the foundation of love is to let those we care about be unapologetically themselves, and to not distort them to fit our own egotistical ideas of who they should be.  Otherwise we love only our own fantasies, and thus miss out entirely on their true beauty.

5.  Everyone takes responsibility for their own happiness.

Happiness is a choice that comes from within.  Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect, it means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.  There are choices you can make every day to feel the effects of happiness.  Choose to do something meaningful.  Choose to take care of your body.  Choose to be around the right people.  Choose a good attitude.  Choose to express gratitude.  Choose to forgive.  Choose to focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.

Begin today by taking responsibility for your own happiness.  The choice is yours.  Your family can support you, but they can’t choose happiness for you.  (Read Hardwiring Happiness.)

6.  Caring words are used to communicate, always.

You can measure the happiness of any close relationship by the number of scars that each member carries on their tongues and inner cheeks, formed over many years of biting back angry and insensitive words.

Bottom line:  Be careful what you say.  You can say something unkind in less than one second, but more than a year later the wounds are still there.  Don’t do this to your family, or anyone for that matter.  Every time words are spoken, something is created.  Be honest, but also conscious of what you say and how you say it.  Use words that build up, appreciate, encourage and inspire.

7.  The truth is upheld and promises are kept.

Cheating and lying aren’t struggles, they’re reasons families break up.  Because great things fall apart quite easily when they’ve been held together with lies.

The truth is, relationships don’t hurt.  Lying, cheating and twisting reality until it toys with someone’s emotions is what hurts.  Promises mean everything, but after they’re broken, sorry means nothing (at least initially).  So never mess with someone’s feelings just because you’re unsure of your own.  If you are unsure in any way, be sure to say so.  Always be open and honest.  And remember that when the truth is replaced by silence, silence becomes a lie too.

8.  Everyone makes QUALITY time for each other.

Here’s a harsh reality of life:  Regardless of the quality of your relationships with your parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, or close friends, you will miss them when they’re gone from your life.  And someday they will be.

You have to set aside quality time to share your love openly and honestly with those you love.  Realize that no matter how much time you spend with someone you care about, or how much you appreciate them, sometimes it will never seem like you had enough time together.  Don’t learn this lesson the hard way.  Express your love.  Tell your family what you need to tell them.  Don’t shy away from important conversations because you feel awkward or uncomfortable.  You never know when you might lose your opportunity.

So stay in close touch with what’s going on in your loved ones’ lives – communicate openly on a regular basis.  Not because it’s convenient, but because they are worth the extra effort.

9.  Presence is held sacred.

The greatest path to positive influence in any relationship is love.  And the greatest path to love is full acceptance within the present moment – allowing everything to be as it is, without hoping or trying to change things.

Presence is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in the “now.”  It’s about knowing that you must first attend to the reality of the moment before you can effectively contribute anything positive to it.  Practicing presence brings a sense of perspective and purpose to our lives, and opens the doorway to love others as they are.

Being completely present with someone is difficult, however, because it requires you to share yourself completely, vulnerabilities and all, and enter moments of unguarded honesty with this person.  And this person may hurt you, and you may hurt them too.  Yes, you will hurt each other sometimes.  But this is the very condition of full presence.  To become summer, means accepting the risk of winter.  To become present, means accepting the risk of absence.  (Read The Power of Now.)

10.  Patience and forgiveness are practiced daily.

No matter how honest and kind you try to be, you will occasionally step on the toes of the people closest to you.  And this is precisely why patience and forgiveness are so vital.  Patience is the ability to let your light shine on those you love, even after your fuse has blown.  And forgiveness is knowing deep down that they didn’t mean to blow your fuse in the first place.

Patience and forgiveness can be bitter at first, but the seeds you plant now will bear sweet fruit in the end.

The floor is yours…

In your experience, what helps create happy relationships and strong family ties?  Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts with the community.

Photo by: Milivoj Sherrington

Here are 60 quotes gathered from our book and blog archive to empower you to take action, navigate through life’s challenges, and get things done.

1. Just because you are struggling does NOT mean you are failing.  Every great success requires some kind of struggle to get there.
2. It doesn’t matter if you’ve failed or if you’ve been beaten.  All that matters is that you learn something, get back up, and try again.  Because winning is a good feeling, but winning when nobody else thought you could is an awesome feeling.
3. Stop beating yourself up.  You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
4. ‘Finished last’ will always be better than ‘Did not finish’, which always trumps ‘Did not start.’
5. Don’t think too much, or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.
6. Thinking too long about doing something is often the reason it never gets done.
7. If you truly want to change your life, you must first change your mind.
8. Most great things in your life won’t happen by chance, they will happen by choice.
9. Do not wait until the conditions are perfect to begin.  Beginning makes the conditions perfect.
10. Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.
11. There are seven days in the week and someday isn’t one of them.
12. You don’t have to be great to get started, but you do have to get started to be great.
13. Sitting on the right track is equivalent to racing down the wrong track.
14. Procrastinators who say, “There’s always tomorrow!” deny the reality that one day, they will be wrong.
15. Do something today that your future self will thank you for.
16. It’s easier to take a small action now instead of a big action ‘some day.’
17. What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while.
18. The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists.  It rewards people who get things done.
19. If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way.  If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.
20. The best way to prepare for the future is to take care of the present.
21. Don’t forget what happened, but understand that you cannot move forward while looking backwards.
22. Don’t carry your mistakes around with you.  Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones.
23. Mistakes teach you important lessons.  Every time you make one, you’re one step closer to your goal.  The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.
24. Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.
25. No matter how many mistakes you make, or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.
26. Your mistakes should be your motivation, not your excuses.
27. Past mistakes should teach you to create a wonderful future; not cause you to be afraid of it.
28. Don’t get caught up in wasted potential from years past.  Potential is all we ever have.  Read The Power of Now.
29. No matter how long you have traveled in the wrong direction, you always have the choice to turn around.
30. You don’t drown by falling in the water.  You drown by staying there.
31. Stop looking back at the door shutting behind you before you walk past the door opening in front of you.
32. Growth begins at the end of your comfort zone.
33. Being uncomfortable and uncertain is part of learning and growing.  Get used to it.  It’s worth it.
34. In order to be creative, we must lose our fear of being wrong.
35. Take a chance on the opportunities your gut says are good, because some things only happen once.
36. Don’t let your fear of what could happen make nothing happen.
37. If you want to fly, you have to give up the things that weigh you down.
38. When you stop worrying about what you can’t control, you have time to change the things you can control.
39. When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.
40. You might think you’re not good enough, but you’ll surprise yourself when you try.
41. People seldom do things to the best of their ability.  They do things to the best of their willingness.
42. Don’t worry about others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
43. You’ll never reach your destination if you keep stopping to tell everyone where you’ve been and what you’ve accomplished.
44. If you are still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven’t done much today.
45. “Time changes everything.”  That’s what people say, but it’s not really true.  Doing things changes things.  Not doing things leaves things exactly as they were.
46. Every day we are faced with great opportunities disguised as difficult circumstances.
47. There is a hidden treasure inside every problem.  It’s your job to find it.
48. Nothing is impossible. The word itself says “I’m Possible.”
49. If you want to get over a problem, stop mulling it over and talking about it.  Your mind affects your mouth, and your mouth affects your mind.  It’s nearly impossible to move beyond something when you’re obsessing over it.
50. Worrying is like a rocking in a chair: it keeps you busy, but doesn’t get you anywhere.
51. Being defeated is often a temporary condition.  Giving up is what makes it permanent.
52. The one who wins the race in the long run is usually not the strongest or the fastest, but the one who has tried the hardest.
53. Often it’s the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self.
54. The one who falls and gets up is so much stronger than the one who never fell.
55. The only difference between an obstacle and an opportunity is your attitude.  Read How Full Is Your Bucket?
56. When something bad happens, you can either let it define you, let it destroy you or let it strengthen you.  The choice is yours.
57. You have three choices in life: Give up, give in, or give it all you’ve got.
58. Don’t look back and ask, “Why?” Look ahead and ask, “Why not?”  When it comes to your dreams and goals, be too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful, and too determined to be defeated.
59. No matter how many times you break down, there should always be a little voice inside you that says, “NO, you’re not done yet!  Get back up!”  That’s the voice of passion and courage.
60. Approach the start of each day with one goal and end the day with one word: DONE!

And here’s a few bonus quotes from successful entrepreneurs who inspire us:

• “No one can whistle a symphony. It takes a whole orchestra to play it.” -H.E. Luccock
• “If you don’t make mistakes, you’re not working on hard enough problems. And that’s a big mistake.” -F. Wikzek
• “I do not equate productivity to happiness. For most people, happiness is a massive amount of achievement plus a massive amount of appreciation. And you need both of those things.” -Timothy Ferriss
• “The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play.” —Arnold Toynbee
• “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” —Winston Churchill
• “Always make your future bigger than your past.” —Dan Sullivan
• “Remember the difference between a boss and a leader: a boss says ‘Go!’, a leader says ‘Let’s go!’” —E.M. Kelly

Photo by: Natalie Johnson

Big companies like Apple, super successful websites like Facebook, and bestselling books like The 4-Hour Workweek all have one thing in common:  They begin with a million dollar idea.

The big question is:  How did their creators come up with these ideas?  Did they sit around waiting for an inspirational flash or a mystic spell of luck?

The answer is:  Spontaneity and luck had little to do with it.

In this article, we’ll take a brief look at 20 tried and true techniques that some of the brightest and most successful entrepreneurs have used to generate million dollar ideas.

You don’t need to have a 100-person company
to develop and execute a good idea.
– Larry Page (Google)

1. Generate lots of ideas. – The more ideas you create, the more likely you are to create an idea worth a million bucks.
2. Fail a lot. – All of the ideas that don’t work are simply stepping stones on your way to the one idea that does.  Sometimes you have to fail a thousand times to succeed.  No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.
3. Consume information consciously. – Some of my friends think it’s wasteful that I spend so much time reading books and blogs.  It’s not.  It’s what gives me an edge.  I feel engulfed with new ideas and information.  And I’ve actually used what I’ve learned to launch a few successful websites.  When you read things and interact with people, take off your consumer cap and put on your creator cap.  There are million dollar ideas (or at least some really good ideas) all around you waiting for discovery.
4. Focus on topics and ideas with large markets. – A million dollars is not a lot of money in the grand scheme of things, but it certainly is if you’re trying to earn it in a small market with limited opportunities.  Even if you put Steve Jobs in the role of CEO for a new venture with a maximum market size of 100 people he wouldn’t make more than a few cents.  ‘Big bucks’ result from high demand in a substantial market.
5. Make sure there’s money in your market. – Bank robbers rob banks because that’s where the money is.  Before you become emotionally attached to an idea, do a little market research.  Make sure the idea you’re pursuing is where the money is.  Who are the clients and consumers?  How much disposable income do they have?  Etc.
6. Keep your eyes, ears and mind wide open. – Oftentimes one idea’s failure will open a door to a new idea.  Don’t get so hung up on one failed attempt that you miss the opening for many more.
7. Test variations of the same idea. – Think about the iPhone and the iPad for a second.  One is just a variation of the other.  Both are multi-million dollar ideas.
8. Figure out what works well in one market and tailor it to another. – Find an idea that’s already proven and think about how it could be applied in a different context.  Take a formula that works in one niche and apply it to a new niche.  Or take the best aspects of one product and combine it with another product.
9. Put the pieces together. – YouTube’s creators didn’t invent Flash.  They didn’t invent modern digital cameras that can record computer-ready mpeg video.  And they didn’t invent broadband Internet connections, cheap web hosting, embedded website content, or one-click website uploading technologies either.  What they invented is a technology that takes all of these existing pieces and combines them into an online video sharing portal.
10. Spin a new twist on a previous breakthrough. – A new twist on an old idea can still be a million dollar idea.  Take Facebook for instance, it wasn’t the first big social networking site, but Mark Zuckerberg and company added twists and features the others did not grasp.  How can you take an existing million dollar idea, or even a common idea, and give it a new twist, a new direction and journey?
11. Systematize a popular service into a reproducible product. – A service is productized when its ownership can be exchanged.  Think about Alienware and Dell back in their infancy.  Both companies simply systematized the service of building IBM compatible PCs and then sold them as a packaged product.  If you can convert a high demand service into a scalable, systematized, efficient process and sell it as a packaged deal, the million appears.
12. Play with opposites. – When something becomes extremely popular, the opposite often also becomes popular as people turn away from the mainstream.  When WordPress, Blogger and Movable Type exploded in popularity by giving anyone with an Internet connection the ability to share long, detailed blog posts with the world, Twitter and Tumblr came along and started the micro-blogging revolution – for people grasping to share extremely short content snippets.  There are hundreds of other examples.  Just remember, the opposite of a million dollar idea can paradoxically give birth to another million dollar idea.
13. Look for problems and solve them. – There are many real problems in this world.  Like a business owner wondering why his profits are sinking.  Like a golfer worrying about his slice.  Like a young man who is growing bald at 26.  Like a mom whose child is suffering with allergies.  Like a new dog owner who’s unsure what to do about her puppy barking all night.  Solving problems like these can make millions.
14. Design new products that support other successful products. – How much money do you think iPod, iPhone and iPad case manufacturers are making?  Millions?  Billions?  What about companies that jumped into the market of manufacturing LCD and Plasma TV mounting brackets eight years ago?  You get the idea.
15. Keep it simple. – Don’t over complicate a good idea.  Business marketing studies have shown that the more product choices offered, the less products consumers typically buy.  After all, narrowing down the best product from a pool of three choices is certainly easier than narrowing down the best product from a pool of three hundred choices.  If the purchasing decision is tough to make, most people will just give up.  So if you’re designing a product line, keep it simple.  (Read Made to Stick.)
16. Exploit the resources and skills you already have. – It’s not as much about having the right resources as it is about exploiting your resources right now.  Stevie Wonder couldn’t see, so he exploited his sense of hearing into a passion for music, and he now has 25 Grammy Awards to prove it.  If you pursue a new venture that involves leveraging your resources and skills, you’re ahead of the game.
17. Surround yourself with other thinkers. – You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with.  If you hang with the wrong people, they will affect you negatively.  But if you hang with the right people, you will be more capable and powerful than you ever could have been alone.  Find your tribe and collaborate to make a difference in all your lives.  Bounce ideas off each other, etc.  (Read Tribes.)
18. Be enthusiastic about what you’re doing. – Enthusiasm is the lifeblood of creativity.  Big ideas blossom when you’re passionate and enthusiastic about what you’re doing.  It’s nearly impossible to pioneer ground breaking solutions in a domain where there is not passionate intensity.  But when your mind is stimulated by a fundamental curiosity and interest in the subject matter, your creativity will run rampant and your motivation will skyrocket.
19. Accept constructive criticism, but ignore naysayers. – When someone spews negativity about your idea or product, remember, it doesn’t matter how many people don’t get it, it matters how many do.  No matter how much progress you make there will always be the people who insist that whatever you’re trying to do is impossible.  Or they may jealously suggest that the idea or concept as a whole is utterly ridiculous because nobody really cares.  When you come across these people, don’t try to reason with them.  Instead, forget that they exist.  They will only waste your time and energy.
20. Actually do something with your ideas! – A million dollar idea is simply a good idea given the chance to grow.  On paper, Google and Facebook sprung from fairly ordinary ideas: ‘a search engine that’s accurate’ and ‘a website where friends connect with each other.’  Remember, neither of these companies were the first ones in their market.  Their ideas weren’t groundbreaking at the time.  Many people had the same ideas even before Google and Facebook existed.  But Google’s and Facebook’s creators did something with their ideas.  They worked hard and one-upped the competition.  Their initial success was in their execution.  Remember, it’s not the ideas themselves that count, it’s what you do with them. With the right execution, a simple idea can evolve into a million dollar idea.  (Read Making Ideas Happen.)

Photo by: Noah Coffey

It is ultimately only our own thoughts that hurt us.

PLEASE NOTE: This post has been updated and moved to here:

10 Excuses the Mind Will Tell You Before You Take the Next Step

Photo by: Tilly

There’s scarcely any happiness, passion or success without struggle.  Life is a constant climb, but the journey is rewarding and the view is great.  It’s just a matter of pushing forward when the going gets tough.

Here are nine power quotes and some additional tips to help inspire you when you need it most.

1.  Growth and Change

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”  ?Anaïs Nin

Discontent is the principal necessity of positive growth, but only if you do something constructive with it.  Without deviation from what you’ve been doing, progress is not possible.  Don’t be someone who goes through greater lengths to avoid change than you do to obtain what you desire.  You must define and embrace the necessary changes that move you forward.

Your life will begin to improve when you define precisely what ‘improve’ means to you.  The agonies and frustrations will start to ease only when you have something real and positive to replace them with.  Be specific.  Happiness is not a goal, it’s the result of a life well lived.  The question is:  How do you want to live going forward?

To effectively move away from an unfavorable situation, you must decide exactly where you wish to go.  Create a formidable intention for yourself, and feed that intention with the passion and energy that’s in your desire for change.  Go beyond your discontent for what is, and instead focus on imagining and creating the best of what’s possible.  Clearly know where you wish to go, and then take the first real step that gets you there.  Read 1,000 Little Things.

2.  Problems and Opportunities

“What is the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity?  Our attitude toward it.  Every opportunity has a difficulty, and every difficulty has an opportunity.”  ?J. Sidlow Baxter

Truth be told, you have to create more opportunities than you are handed in this world, and you have to design them with your own blood, sweat and tears.  The effort, however, is well worth it.

There’s no shortage of problems waiting to be addressed.  When you see problems piled on top of problems, and when there seems to be no end to the work that must be done in order to resolve them, what are you really seeing?  You’re looking at a mountain of opportunity.  You’re looking at a situation in which you can truly make a difference.  You’re looking at an environment where you can reach great heights by raising the stakes and pulling the reality of what’s possible along with you.

When you look at a problem, but see opportunity instead, you become a powerful source that transforms grief into greatness.

3.  Hard Work and Achievement

“It shouldn’t be easy to be amazing.  Then everything would be.  It’s the things you fight for and struggle with before earning that have the greatest worth.  When something’s difficult to come by, you’ll do that much more to make sure it’s even harder – or impossible – to lose.”  ?Sarah Dessen

There is no shortcut to a great achievement.  There is no substitute for doing the work.  Meditate on this every day: “I will do the work.”  As Einstein once said, “Genius is 1% talent and 99% percent hard work.”  You must run to be a runner.  You must write to be a writer.  You must actively work on a business venture to learn how to run a successful business.

By all means, find ways to be more efficient in your work.  But make no mistake that it takes diligent effort to build something worthwhile.  There are certainly some success stories out there about people who excelled rather quickly, but you will usually find they had put in years of related work long before anyone was paying attention to their seemingly rapid success.  In other words, their current state of achievement is simply all those years of work coming together flawlessly in the present.

Put in the required effort.  Plan your work every morning, and then diligently work your plan every day.  Read Do the Work.

4.  Focus

Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want.  No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.”  ?Paulo Coelho

Lack of focus, not lack of ability, is the most common problem that holds people back from their potential.  We all have strengths and difficulties, and we all have the same twenty-four hour days and seven-day weeks to work with.  If you find it difficult to deal with where you are, or how life is treating you, it’s time to change your focus.

Start focusing on what you want going forward.  Set a specific goal, keep your routine centered on it, and you’ll find the strength to move steadily in a positive direction.  When you focus on the right thing, even the difficult steps will seem easier.  The burdens of the moment become much more bearable when you connect with the purpose behind them.

Your time, energy, and resources will get used no matter how well you focus them.  By choosing to focus properly, you get the highest return for the efforts you invest in your life.

5.  Positive Thinking

“Our thoughts about what we are and what we can be precisely determine what we can be.”  ?Anthony Robbins

The reality you live through daily is a process of your thinking.  You are essentially who you design yourself to be – most of what you experience is the direct result of your own creation.  This reality cannot be changed without first changing your thinking.

Yes, there are lots of inherent events in life that occur completely independently of you – birth, death, loss, sickness, aging, and unexpected changes of all kinds – but these life events do not have to cause ongoing confusion and suffering.  They happen, you experience a little stress, you adjust, and you move forward.  The problem occurs when you don’t adjust and move forward, when your mind clings to these events in a negative light and intensifies their significance into perpetuity.  If your mind does this, of course, it completely overlooks the subtle feelings of excitement, adventure, love, and joy that come from the essence of overcoming a new challenge.

Bottom line:  99% of the time the discontent and frustration you feel is entirely your own creation.  If you dwell on the positive thoughts and possibilities at least as much as you dwell on negative thoughts and painful emotions, life’s challenges help you improve your reality.  Read Learned Optimism.

6.  Mistakes

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.”  ?Mahatma Gandhi

No matter what you’re going to make mistakes; it’s an unavoidable truth.  But the good news is, if you follow your heart and intuition, the mistakes you make will be steps in the right direction.  Just because you fail once at something doesn’t mean you’re going to fail at everything.  Keep trying, hold on and believe in yourself.  Keep your head held high, your chin up, and above all, SMILE, because the most beautiful part of it all is that there’s so much left to smile about.

Life is what you make it.  It’s a wild rollercoaster.  Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it does.  And then just when you think it can’t get any better, it does.  Every day is a beautiful mystery.  Let go of yesterday’s mistakes and enjoy the mystery as it unfolds today.

7.  Acceptance

“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.”  ?Henry W. Longfellow

What you must realize is that you don’t really need more time; you just need to appreciate life in the current time.  It’s a beautiful and bitter way of thinking all at once.  If you don’t have what you want now, you don’t have what you want, but you still have a lot.  Be thankful for what is; and also be thankful for what has not yet come to you, for that means there are still many possibilities available to you.

Find peace in the thought that you can’t ever have it all or know it all.  You are always just a fraction of the whole.  For if you weren’t, there would be nothing more to experience.  Value what you know, and also value the countless things you don’t yet understand.  For in what you do not understand, there is the joy of growth.

Life will always be incomplete and a bit asymmetrical.  Realize this and embrace it.  Be happy and sad at the same time, be hungry and thankful at the same time, be nervous and excited at the same time, and be okay with it.

8.  Confidence and Beliefs

“Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere.  We can’t always understand them, but we have to trust in them.  I know you want to question everything, but sometimes it pays to just have a little faith.”  ?Lauren Kate

Believe in yourself through tough times.  Believe in your capacity to succeed.  Believe that your relationships are worth the effort.  Believe that people make mistakes on their way to greatness.  Believe that people can be foolish and intelligent, selfish and generous, and stressed and happy all at once.  Believe that very few people hurt others on purpose.  Believe that there are many roads to what’s right.  Believe in your intuition, especially when you have to choose between two good paths.  Believe that the answers are out there waiting.  Believe that life will surprise you again and again.  Believe that the journey is the destination.  Believe that it’s all worth your while.  Read 1,000 Little Things.

9.  The Present Moment

“Yesterday is gone.  Tomorrow has not yet come.  We have only today.  Let us begin.”  ?Mother Teresa

Regardless of what’s happened in the past or what might happen in the future, it’s being here now that’s important.  We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t edit it; we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if it will ever come.

This moment – right now – is your life.  Say yes to it.  Don’t ignore it by pretending that you’re living in some other time and place.  You aren’t – doing so is impossible.  The only life you can live is the only life there is – the moment you are in right now.  Ignoring this fact is reckless.  Ignoring it is denying reality, and denying reality is rejecting the entire process of living.

Start paying attention to the present.  Start paying attention to your life.  Right now, say yes to the life you‘re living and notice how it starts to flow WITH you rather than against you.

Your turn…

What’s your favorite power quote that can provide a quick dose of inspiration when you need it most?

Photo by: R.O. Mania